Emergency- Dreams

Something has been happening, i know that for a fact. Not afraid to be myself and pursue my dreams. Nothin is out of reach when I am filled with God and use this filling to bring glory to my father in heaven. Holy spirit filled and ready to rock the world in the name of Love.
Its so crazy how much power there is in knowing God and getting him to be known. I'm finding God wanting to use my talents my gifts to let his name and character be known. I have just begin to discover where my talents are falling and sinking and which ones are growing and being fertilized to blossum into something beautiful.
So here is a sneak peak at my long term dream. I want to start a YWAM base up in Seattle. My home state where my heart is, where depression is so prevelant and drug use is more then just a habit. This is my far future plan. Whatever happens from now till there will just add to the tasty insides of the sandwich that is my life. I'm feeling full of passion and life and dreams!
And that is why the enemy would try to be getting me down. In the last 2 weeks I've had three trips to the Emergency room. Yeah...3. One for my girlfriend and two for me. I had a cyst on my leg once and they gave me medicine and then just two days ago I had an allergic reaction to the medicine they gave me and began to break out in hives and get a fever. And then we had to go to the hospital and be there for 13 hours because Rachel has been having some rare neurological symptoms and has been in a lot of pain and feeling the fatigue. This all began happening once me and Rachel talked about our dream to start a school in Seattle. Crazy to see how real spiritual warfare is.
Why does it seem that once things go good it goes bad right away? yeah.. that's why.
But through it all I have persevered under trial and have only gotten stronger in my faith. I won't be brought down that easy. I wanna have a Job like way of life. Never loose my faith under any circumstance.

" It's better to loose your life then it is to loose your life"

Spoken Word: is a performance art that is word-based. It often includes collaboration and experimentation with other art forms such as music, theater, and dance.

I'm heavily influenced by writing poems and listening to instrumental music. And so I've been putting these two things together and watching some artists like Odd Thomas, and Citizen Aim, and Propaganda. And it feels like home. So tomorrow on base we are have an art expression thing and I will be doing my first spoken word! 

Here is an example of the type of stuff I'm gunna be trying: 

 

ATTENTION.... Coffee Needed

Dreams, passions, focus, values, morals becoming realistic through determination, faith, grace, wisdom and prayer.
For my whole life I've heard people tell me "you are going to do something big, God has huge plans for you, you are special, you've been picked, chosen, you can do anything." And as great and encouraging as all this sounds and felt at first, it came with a toll, a toll of thinking that so many people expect great things of me that  "I cant mess up or I will let everyone down". But being human as I am of course I screwed up plenty of times and lost sight of what being a disciple of Christ is really about. I thought it was all about me and what I need to do and what I can not do. Needless to say without writing out my whole life story and testimony, I gave up trying to do good and instead found it much easier to do bad. I did bad for years and years, still praying and searching for God all while digging a hole which put me farther away from God.
Not until recently these last 2 years have i realized the concept that its not about what I do or don't do, but it is about God and what Jesus already did! Amen! It's by grace and not by works that I am free and need not to feel the harsh pressures and stress of trying to work my way to have Jesus love me.
And in this last year God has made me realize I have some pretty awesome dreams! Like really really cool dreams! And not only that, but that they are possible to obtain. I'm searching how and taking steps to reach them. I am a little tired and worn out now though (hence the reason there is a need for coffee). I know through God (and some caffeine) I have the strength to reach my dreams and to hold on to hope!

If you tune in next week I will tell you these radical, freakishly amazing dreams of mine!

God Bless

" Find Peace and Beauty in the Small to Live Life Large"
-Me

Time to be Open

So here I am in LA beginning my adventure in SLAM after 2367 km of driving (how ever that much is in miles(my girlfriend's car speaks Canadian)). We traveled down the I-5 through Washington and Oregon and part of California until we jumped on the highway 1 to ride along the coastline the rest of the way down.

In that long time of driving I had plenty of time to think about life. So I'm going to be open with you. Lately I have been struggling with doubt. Doubt in myself mainly. Being unsure of the decision I had made to leave behind everything yet again to spend all the money I have to go back to YWAM. It has been driving pretty insane! But some where along the road I had this feeling of peace and confidence come over me. I knew that this is the right

decision no matter what kind of opposition or barriers were there to get in my way! Whether or not I have money, or a car or a 'job' or am on the 'right' path to some people, I know deep down in the fiber of my being that I love people and I love God and I want to see the two come hand and hand and life life as an adventure. And this path I'm on is leading me right to that!
Our first assignment for SLAM is to keep a blog (thank God I already have one). So I will be more devoted to writing in here because now it is also an assignment and not just a hobby I rarely do.Today we have been learning about what passion is. I had to give an answer to what I am passionate about and honestly, being open and all, I had a hard time because of the confusion I'm going through. But in time I know I will have the answer!

Passion: a desire you are willing to suffer for

So for the 4 people that are actually following me, first off Thanks! and secondly I hope you are ready to get to know me all too well, more than you probably want to! And be ready because on this adventure I am traveling light to bring the light and its going to start by being open and passionate!