For my whole life I've heard people tell me "you are going to do something big, God has huge plans for you, you are special, you've been picked, chosen, you can do anything." And as great and encouraging as all this sounds and felt at first, it came with a toll, a toll of thinking that so many people expect great things of me that "I cant mess up or I will let everyone down". But being human as I am of course I screwed up plenty of times and lost sight of what being a disciple of Christ is really about. I thought it was all about me and what I need to do and what I can not do. Needless to say without writing out my whole life story and testimony, I gave up trying to do good and instead found it much easier to do bad. I did bad for years and years, still praying and searching for God all while digging a hole which put me farther away from God.
Not until recently these last 2 years have i realized the concept that its not about what I do or don't do, but it is about God and what Jesus already did! Amen! It's by grace and not by works that I am free and need not to feel the harsh pressures and stress of trying to work my way to have Jesus love me.
And in this last year God has made me realize I have some pretty awesome dreams! Like really really cool dreams! And not only that, but that they are possible to obtain. I'm searching how and taking steps to reach them. I am a little tired and worn out now though (hence the reason there is a need for coffee). I know through God (and some caffeine) I have the strength to reach my dreams and to hold on to hope!
If you tune in next week I will tell you these radical, freakishly amazing dreams of mine!
God Bless
" Find Peace and Beauty in the Small to Live Life Large"
-Me
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